Today I was asked:

Today I was asked what I'm working for... Here is my response
what I want right now like this instant is to be motivated
at the end of the day I want to feel accomplished and learned
I'm working for many things
a better smarter me
I'm working to help others
I'm working to ether teach or be a high school counselor
I hate the fact that counselors are supposed to motivate you and help you out
yet I was told I couldn't go to college cuz I couldn't afford it
I working to make my self a more understanding patient person
I'm workign to overcome insecurities instilled in me from an emotionally abusive relationship when I was in high school
I'm workin to respect my mom
because I lost respect for her in high school
I'm workin to make myself the strongest person I can be
I'm workin to overcome my demons
the demons that tell me I can't do it that I'm not strong
I'm workin to make myself completely happy without needing anyone
I'm working to make myself a potential great mother
and educated mother
a mother that can provide safety and comfort

A lil insight into my twisted mind.

I need to live vicariously through everyone otherwise I'm liable to molest every hot freshman boy that attends UCSB. I miss all the dick that was readily available to me in Sac. Did I mention I hung out with a guy that is 37. He told me the other day that he had fucked my mom 3 yrs ago he realized that when he picked me up to go hang out. I haven't messed around with him but would it be so bad to tease him so bad possibly give him a half nude lap dance and tease him that he can't fuck me cuz he fucked my mom?? I'm still living alone down here and know nobody. I accidently went to an group thing the other night to meet people that was thrown by kids that do bible study.. I went after drinking alone at my apt. I sobered up quickly. I also searched craigslist for random dick. I need to go back to Sac for a weekend.

New tattoo

It's on my right foot!! How pretty!!

Lonely

Again?? Seems awfully predictable funny as it sounds but its not that time of the month.

15 days..

15 days til I move..Hmm not sure how I feel about this yet. Im excited don't get me wrong. The thing is though I'm not a person from a well to do family. I've worked hard to get where I am and where I will be going. I'm moving to one of the snobbist neighborhoods in CA. Oh well. I guess you have to pay many prices to live in a beautiful city on the coast. So yah I'm not sure if I'll see boy or not before I leave. I kinda want to I kinda don't. I wish the way things eneded wasn't as hurtful as it was. Had I been told I think we should move on since you are moving would have been a great way instead of it's a waste... Yah so I'm still a lil peeved. It sucks though I still want to know him I still want to hang out. We had great fun together. I'm just not sure if he was the person that razled and dazled me in the first place. Oh well. Anyways I'll be working a few days past what I had anticipated due to a unreliable employee at the job. Which is fine she sucks for the position anyway. Plus I think she's addicted to pain killers I swear everytime she's at the office she's floating on vicodine. Whatever. Time to go to dinner with my girls before one takes off to Europe for a month. I'm jealous, but not as jealous as she will be when she gets back and I'm living on the beach!!!