Update

I live in a 2bdr apt with 4girls. My roomate is a african american 24yr old germophobe virgin who doesn't drink. The other two girls are from Taiwan they are friends and don't speak English in the house. So I don't think I need to say much about how these people are nothing like me . All the guys here are either 23 and younger or 46 and older. No middle grounds. So I've been going to school coming home and either browse the personal section of craigslist or hang out with the guys next door. Why do I hang out with these guys. Well.. they have a tv and dvd player and I don't. My apartment is generally SILENT which I in fact hate. I like noise music people talking. So I go next door. I've made a few trips to the beach to lay out and study. I just got hired at Home Depot I think this might bring around more potential ass. I'll be working in the paint department wearing a cute lil orange apron. Speaking of orange I still don't have a Halloween costume. Halloween here is like going to Mardi Gras in New Orleans except most people arent' 21 and can't handle their alcohol. Which drive me crazy the stupid drunk sluts that have spare tires get more ass then I do. Why? Well according to the paper published daily at school I am "a bitch" because I monitor my alcohol intake. Did I mention some of the stories to get published are absolutely absurd. They "wednesday hump" is the most favorable article in the paper every wed. It has sex stories written by men and women. HORRIBLE!! Honestly I'm no prude but these stories are absolutely ridiculous. Telling people to fuck as many people as possible to be better in bed. To show up to your TA's office hours in a mini skirt and he'll have you bent over his desk yelling out the periodic table with each pump. SERIOUSLY people. I have this strange mental block that I am not 22. I look at everyone else my age and refuse to believe I am the same age as them. Needless to say I get funny looks when my 26yrs+ friends come down for the weekend so I can go out with them. I tried hanging out with people my own age and what happend? I was irratable since they insisted on bringing attention to me in front of some "potenial". I was pissed. Seriously dont' ever fuckin point me out in front of a guy I think is hot. If I want to be noticed I'd do it on my own.

this...

I hate this I hate missing you. I hate feeling like I'm missing out without you around. I know it wasn't a long time betwenn us but it was great. We connected on so many levels and after so many years and finally just being able to be us alone for those few months was great. Then you turn around and end it because you are afraid. I dont' know why I can't let go of this. Maybe I should forget about you. But I can't my heart won't let me. I was asked what I missed about you. My reply was everything. The kisses, the way you held me, the way you brushed the hair out of my eyes, the way you looked at me, how we feel asleep all wrapped up, how you let me be when i fell asleep on you lap while you were watching the basketball game, how you would leave the boys on the bench to check up on me during your softball game, how you would steal kisses from me when we were bowling. How you would stick your foot in your mouth after saying something too loud at dinner and the person heard you. How you would hold my hand walking in the mall. How you let me pick out the best deals on your clothes for work. I just miss you, all of you.